Today, This Day, Thursday, March 25th 2009

Oke, hari ini wa mo cerita mengenai kejadian hari ini

pagi ini, rencananya kita-kita (member exquisite [singkat, XQS]) mo nobar Push di BoQer, so, wa – yang kayaknya paling antusias buat nobar – ngirim sms ke Ami, Digun, Hafizh, Ica, Gita, Fanto, Sunday, Nadh, and (kemaren malemnya) Ola.

Ternyata, Ami mendadak ada kunjungan dari sodara-sodaranya, Gita mo cabut bareng ortu, Hafizh gaje, Digun ada kerja kelompok, Fanto kaga bales (shi*, u, To!), Sunday wa telpon katanya kaga tau juga tuh, Nadh sih oke-oke aja, Ica [awalnya] juga tapi mendadak mogok juga (gara-gara baru dikit yang confirm)

 

Jadi pagi harinya, yang IMO dah confirm baru wa (ya eya lah), Hafizh, ama Nadh

wedew

 

wa udah bertekad bakal nonton sendiri (tapi di Elos thanks to my limited budget ) kalo cuma 3an ini yang beneran jadi nonton. napa? well, wa kaga enak aja ama Nadh and Hafizh. Udah diajak, kaga taunya malah sepi cuma bertiga. kan garing gitu

mendingan wa aja yang nonton ndiri

 

sekedar sisipan, Push bukan film yang masuk waiting list wa, sih, tapi gara-gara wa udah kehasut ama Raka and Andi yang waktu ntu udah nonton and bilang kalo Push keren, jadinya wa memutuskan kalo wa harus nonton nih film! Apalagi ada Dakota Fanning (yang bakal meranin Jane di New Moon, wa jadi penasaran liat acting-nya sebagai psycic )

 

oke, ternyata, Tuhan berkehendak lain. Siangnya, pas wa mo cabut buat ngumpul eASY, Ami and Ica jadi nobar. Yay! wa kaga perlu nonton sendiri, and dengan begini udah ada 5 orang yang setuju

lumayan

 

ternyata, Ina juga ikutan nonton!

yay!

jadi 6, pas, neh. 3 cowo, 3 cewe (so? lantas?)

and ternyata mendapatkan 1 hal yang sangat tidak penting!

yaitu para cowo (3-3nya) memakai kacamata, sedangkan para cewe (3-3nya) tidak memakai kacamata!!!! (sekalipun wa tau Nadh biasanya pake di skul, tapi sekarang dia lagi kaga pake)

dengan begini wa berhasil mempertahankan status King of Unimportance wa di XQS!!!

 

oke, dari pada ngobrol ngalor ngidul kayak gini, mendingan kita review Push aja

 

menurut wa, Push tuh punya poster yang colorful buat film yang sarat adegan kekerasan psikis (sekalipun kaga parah-parah amat), and ternyata wa termakan hasutan si Andi and Raka buat nonton nih film, padahal adegan-adegan kerennya cuma awal-awalnya doang. swt gila

 

Yang wa suka dari Push: Dakota Fanning (as usual, she’s fascinating ), Pop Girl (ada Watcher yang suka makan lolipop gitu, and she’s worth it ), Victor (mengingatkan wa ama Lucas Gabreel ), Carver (ntah kenapa wa demen ma karakter antagonis, terutama yang [sorry] negro, botak, know what he’s doin’, powerful >> co. Daredevil’s Kingpin, Green Mile’s John Coffee, Push’s Carver )

 

Yang wa kaga suka dari Push: Effect yang kurang, ending yang jelek, eksplorasi dan pendalaman karakter yang kurang, tidak adanya batasan yang jelas dalam kekuatan-kekuatan yang dimiliki maupun batas kekuatan untuk berkembang, etc.

 

Pokoknya, this movie generally sucks

liat review FS wa buat review tambahan di www.friendster.com/solazy

 

 

So, abis nobar Push, rencananya sih kita mo foto-foto di depan poster Knowing (yang jelas bukan poster Dragon Ball Revolution), tapi gara-gara rame and ada kontes Botani Ambassador (yang membuat wa ill-feel begitu ngeliat 1 kontestan yang wa kenal… ehm… berkebalikan dengan performance-nya di atas stage << that’s really putting a mask on your face, man) akhirnya foto-fotonya kaga jadi (lagian kita udah foto-foto di dalem studio 2 di bioskop – tapi foto wa gaje semua, euy) :’(

 

haha

never mind

 

biz ntu kita pisah

nadh and ina mo ke gramed dulu

wa, ami, ica, and hafizh memutuskan untuk makan

 

awalnya kita mo mampir di solaria, tapi berhubung penuh, jadinya kita turun ke bawah (ya eya lah!) just to see another crowded solaria resto. Jalan-jalan dikit, akhirnya kita putuskan untuk ke A&W (American Warteg, yeah~) aja. Wa, yang waktu ntu duitnya udah terkuras [sekaligus penasaran pengen nyobain es krim-nya A&W << biasa, ice cream addict ;D], mesen sundae, sementara Hafizh and Ica mesen Paket Hemat 2 (yang wa baru tau ada nomer-nomernya pas wa and Ica mesen menu), sedangkan Ami mesen Nasi+Dada+Air Mineral

kita pesen makanan, makanan diambil, makanan dibawa ke meja

eh, nongol lagi si Satria (tadi ketemu di dalem Studio. lagi nobar ma adeknya. sapa, teh, namanya? wa lupa, sia. haha. peace, Sat )

setelah berbagai obrolan gaje, si Sat akhirnya pergi (hush, hush << peace lagi, Sat ), kita-kita (4 orang gaje ini) membahas tentang poem wa (Gradient – Clues) yang wa post di FB

terus mulailah sesi Jujur Berani di A&W!!!

yeah, nice~

dimulai dari wa (karena wa yang paling banyak menyimpan cerita. that’s me, an open book on the desk). wa ngasih tau siapa yang ada di balik kode Gradient, terus wa akhirnya share-share gitu, deh

dilanjutkan ke Ica, and ternyata emang bener, XQS sarang skandal, tapi gara-gara wa salah satu penghuni skandal XQS, jadinya wa diem aja (padahal wa member Badan Pencarian Skandal (BPS)!!)

dilanjutkan ke Ami, and ternyata Ami punya shocking news yang kita semua tunggu-tunggu di hari Sabtu (yeah, it’s this Saturday, baby! Come and see ENTHUSIASTIC in SMANSA, okay?)

dilanjutkan ke Hafizh, and ternyata Hafizh juga punya cerita yang menarik (sekalipun dipersingkat gara-gara waktu yang mendesak)

 

akhirnya, kita semua balik

si Ami cabut ke arah yang berlawanan (ke tempat parkir mungkin), si Ica naek 08 (seinget wa), wa and Hafizh naek 13 terus berhenti di BTM. Biz ntu si Hafizh berteduh dulu di BTM, sementara wa langsung balik ke rumah and disambut oleh Hujan Super Deras yang mengakibatkan Inet wa DC lagi untuk beberapa jam :/

 

that’s what happened:

today, this day, thursday, march 25th 2009

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.

wa akhirnya bisa maenin tangga nada C di biola (sekalipun masih gagap)

ada 1 lagu yang pengen wa maenin di biola, and wa mohon dukungannya, ya? hehe

Masterpiece of Pain

Everytime I see you

your smile

your embracing aura

your beauty

I just couldn’t think that you’re real

because you’re real and solid in my eyes

yet I knew that you’re unreal and gasseous

 

Everytime I met you

your charm

your invisible threads

your power

I just couldn’t bend down to my knees before you

because I was charmed

yet I knew that you didn’t have any charm at all

 

Everytime I talked to you

your words

your honesty

your modesty

I just couldn’t think that you’re the plainest human in the world

because your words had strangled me, deafened me

yet I knew that you are just the same as I

 

Everytime I thought of you

your mind

your sharpness

your wisdom

I just couldn’t think that you existed in the planet

because you’re just the perfect thing I’ve waited so long

yet I knew that you are very cunning and humane

 

So

just now

for once

I see your dark surface

it’s definitely not about skin tones nor tribes, you racists

it’s definitely about the sin of the mind

something someone could not comprehend

something so powerful that drove, yet bent, the body into its will

something out of my and your league

something you showed me

just now

for once

 

If you thought that I’m selfish

the let’s declare that we’re all humane!

we’re not all humans!

but because we’re all humane,

then we carried the nature of the humans,

the nature composed of many pride, wrath, greed, gluttony, lust, envy, and sloth;

the nature composed of little modesty, calmness, indifference, joy, contentfulness, and hard work;

the nature composed of things you could never imagine

nor I;

the nature that would rupture yourself inside out;

as it happened on me!

 

Because I love you

more and more every passing seconds

because there’s a quote stated:

“you only need one second to start loving, but forgetting starts forever“

and the quote happened on me

because it only needs one second to love

but to forget you, it’s like a request of death

I wonder why love is so complicated

why couldn’t it be just as wonderful and simple as Ikal and A Ling’s?

 

Why?

 

It’s just because I’m clapping with one hand

it’s just because one simple thing whom I would not nor could ever blame

it’s just because I gained no place in your heart

it’s just because both of us are the same

and the world loved duality

because there’s no single coin with the same imprintings on each side

because there’s no single finger with the same fingerprints on each surface

and for that I could and would only blame this world

this world of stupidity

this world of sickness

this world of plague

this world of flame

this world of evil

this world of woe

this world of me

and you

 

And when the fire sparked

even just for once

the mind narrowed

the emotion sharpened

the desire ripped

the whole soul screamed

the eye plucked out

the ear deafened

the lips dismembered

the nose shut

the skin mutilated

the whole body hurt

and the logic exiled

and the whole law of physics ruined

in this silent cry

 

I was hurt

somehow

and the fire sparked

I still wondered how

because I always know the answer of why

yet the answer of how is just a hypothesis

I wished I could find the real answer

because I already know the answer:

of who;

of where;

of when;

of what;

of which;

of whom;

and of why;

expect the answer

of how?

 

before your fire sparked

I wanted you to know things about me

I wanted you to know that:

 

I am weak;

I am selfish;

I am rude;

I am ugly;

I am stupid;

I am berserk;

I am silent;

I am wounded;

I am sick;

I am uncapable;

I am reckless;

I am destructible;

 

I am a jerk;

I am a bitch;

I am a pain in the ass;

I am a cultist;

I am a disgrace;

I am a flaw;

 

I am weakness;

I am pain;

I am fear;

I am deceit;

I am abomination;

I am death;

I am corruption;

I am apocalypse;

I am fire;

 

 

A fire in the water

just like phosphorus

is only served for the one who understand

and is used on many different purposes

but all of them redirects to me

to the apocalypse

to the end of all of this

to your death

to mine

to this world’s

 

All of this came out

just because of that

that for once,

the fire sparked

incinerated my lungs

filled my veins with flame

eaten my limbs

burned my body to ashes

in front of you

whom laid cluelessly

eyes closed

mouth silent

 

I’m still hurt here

and although I didn’t ask you to comfort me

nor to hurt me more

I apologized for every pain you’ve done to me

for every pain I reflected on you on the minor scale

 

 

 

 

-Male-

Black and White – Mask

Maybe you’ve realized

that everyone wears a mask

and we’re dancing on a ball of life drama

altogether, not knowing about each other

and feel the safety of the mask

the invisible yet strong mask named persona

 

We’re unaware about each other

for we could not see beyond the mask

although it’s invisible physically

for it’s a huge wall in the nature of soul

yet

we’re still grateful

and thankful for it

as we feel safe

and we don’t have to be burdened

by something beyond the mask

 

But for anyone who are keen enough

to sought what’s beyond the mask

then they’ll encounter things

that they’ve never expect before

some grow fond of it

some are fascinated

some are amazed

some are still grateful for it

but some are scared and regretful

while others scarred the face indifferently

 

as you might know

I, too, wear a mask

an apathetic mask of lies and hate

a mask which I’ve shown you that day

a mask which you could never imagined

but could only be seen in reality

when I was off guard just like at that time

 

yes, I was off guard

because like a few

I wear two masks at once

one mask I used everyday to be seen

and one apathetic mask I used everyday

in case that I was off guard

for I, too, like many others

dislike insecurity

and like my own privacy

 

But as you can see

my masks were cracked

maybe you could not see the greed in my eyes when I saw you

for I could not lust on you

but I believe if you pay enough attention

then you could see my mouth clearly

a mouth muttering about God and you

about things you’ve never dreamed of

about me, myself, and I

about my feelings for you

an everlasting feeling which I could not said yet

 

I would like to take my masks off of my face

but I fear about what your reaction would be

if you see me without my masks

without my daily mask and my apathetic mask

I’m afraid that if I take off my masks

then you’ll fear me

you’ll despise me

you’ll kill me and torture me mentally

as you did nowadays

when I know that you’re not mine

yet I think of you

yet I think of taking my masks off

yet I dreamed of you

for I love you

more and more in every passing days

and I want to be with you

more and more in every passing days

but I fear you

if I ever take off my masks

and I hope

it’s not getting more and more in every passing days

but lesser and lesser in every passing days

because this is one of my final steps

that is to take off my masks before your eyes

to prove that you could have anything from me

aside from my faith

to prove that I’ll take off my masks in front of you

because I believe in you

and I hope you could take off your mask

at least just for a while

at least just for that time

and reveal your feelings for me

to set a start on our path

or put and end for my misery

 

-Black and White-