Yeah, right

Well, awalnya wa kaga ada inspirasi buat ngetik di blog, karena hal-hal yang telah wa bagikan sebelumnya di post-post sebelum post ini, dan hal-hal yang tidak bisa wa bagikan karena itu bener-bener cuma buat “myself” (and I feel that making a private note on blog is not something you should do. Why? because you can’t have another people’s attention and sympathy if you lock it up all for yourself! Thus, I was not interested in blogging today)

tapi ada satu hal yang menurut wa cukup “safe” buat diutarakan hari ini (ato malam ini) yaitu, lagi-lagi masalah Black and White.

:I

well, masih inget tentang rumor-rumor yang beredar sebelumnya? nah, wa jadi penasaran (banget) tentang kebenaran rumor-rumor ini. Should I cross my new friend, or should I stab my heart once again to end the longing forever?

Dari pada bingung, mending langsung aja kita tanya

And awalnya wa berharap, just go to sleep. It’s almost midnight and I don’t want to be the reason why you woke up all night long. Tapi apa daya, di saat wa lagi KK (kurang kerjaan) and mulai ngutak-ngatik salah satu situs favorit wa, she replied.

 

rasa longing muncul lagi, and pas wa baca isinya sms-nya……

(I couldn’t tell you the sms, but I could tell you what her respond is)

kita tunggu setelah pesan-pesan berikut ini!!!!

dia malah balik nanya lagi.

wedew

longing makin parah waktu wa bales sms-nya secepet kura-kura

secepet kura-kura?

yup

harus kuakui, aku sayang kamu…. ini adalah sms yang paling ribet yang pernah wa ketik, soalnya wa mencerna lagi tiap kata-kata yang wa ketik di sms tersebut, supaya things turn out well. Secara, wa juga manusia yang menghormati privasi orang, and kalo misalnya wa maen nuding-nuding aja, bisa-bisa wa ngebacok jantung wa make kapak tanpa wa sadari. Jadinya, wa harus bisa menyampaikan pesan dengan lugas, tajam, dan terpercaya (emangnya liputan 6?!)

Setelah cukup yakin dengan isi smsnya, wa kirim, deh, tuh, sms

cukup panjang juga, sih, waktu yang wa pake buat ngekaji ulang sms wa, sekitar beberapa menit, di mana yang wa tau, biasanya (kecuali kalo wa kaga tau ada sms masuk) wa udah bales sms yang masuk ntu dalam beberapa detik.

Ya, mo gimana lagi? kalo balesnya leled-leled, ntar orang-orang pada males ngirim sms ke kita, ya ngga? ya ngga? (kalo bilang ngga, lebih baik u pindah blog ;D)

and wa mulai gaje lagi, gara-gara dia kaga bales-bales sms wa.

awalnya, seh, pengen wa tinggal tidur, tapi karena wa ada tugas bikin film inggris tentang news reading and interviewing, and FD unlimited wa udah mulai bejad, jadinya wa stay up late buat nyari situs hosting yang baru – yang hanya berakhir dengan kekecewaan, and terpaksa wa harus minjem FD kakak wa ntar (karena ini udah berganti hari).

jadinya, wa baca Alkitab dulu. 1 hari 1 pasal lebih baik dari pada 1 hari 1 ayat, ato malah kaga baca, kan?

tapi yang wa sadari…. untuk orang sepinter dia (ini udah ngomongin Black and White lagi), ngebales sms wa ntu kaga bakal makan waktu lama. Tapi entah kenapa lama banget dia balesnya (45 menit lebih) dan bukan karena dia ngetik jawabannya panjang banget. dia cuma ngetik 2 baris yang…. lumayan mengejutkan (meskipun masih dalam batas-batas rasionalitas dari orang yang karakternya seperti dia), pokoknya isinya dia menanyakan ulang maksud dari sms wa.

padahal wa tadi udah sempet cross finger selama 2 detik pas wa mo ngebuka sms dia…

Wa tau, dia tau maksud wa, and maybe dia ngetik 2 baris ntu biar pembicaraan bisa lanjut. Tapi wa udah dapet kesan kalo dia tadi paused begitu dia ngebaca sms wa. Itu bisa ditunjukkan dari tidak ada kata meminta maaf karena udah ngebikin wa stay awake for more than 45 minutes (although I’m gonna stay awake all night for her ;D), dan dari pertanyaannya yang mungkin hampir retoris. Dan itu jelas menunjukkan kalo rumor itu (at the very least) benar.

ouch

…

 

 

 

 

 

 

wa langsung inget 1 verse di lagu SP yang No Love, yang bunyinya kalo ngga salah: “for every time we fight, the scars are gonna heal, but they’re never gonna go away…”

wa langsung ngerasa lagi kalo lagu No Love emang pas banget buat wa

once again I felt solitude

once again I fell into sorrow

once again love seemed to be painful

ugh!

uhhh……

ugh!

 

 

 

wa takut, sia, dia bakal baca post wa yang ini :I (jujur)

wa takut dia baca, and dia mengetahui the truth yang sebenarnya

sehingga dia hurt gara-gara kata-kata yang wa ketik di sini

di mana wa secara kaga langsung juga bakal hurt kalo-kalo dia ampe hurt

once again, it’s about hurt and truth

….

 

yawdah, wa tetep reply dia (so, pasti) and ampe sekarang (at least at 1.07 AM) dia lom bales wa

mo tau balesan wa apa?

sorry, kaga boleh tau

tapi intinya, wa ngejawab pertanyaan retoris itu.

and menurut wa, dia pasti (minimal) paused once again begitu dia ngebaca sms wa.

wa harap this is not the end of my longing

karena wa udah ngerasain bagaimana indahnya cinta, sekalipun wa baru mencicipinya setitik rasanya. tapi wa yakin, hampir semua orang tau kalo misalnya cinta itu adiktif :I

wew

yeah, love is addictive

yeah, love is bittersweet

yeah, love is painful

at least for me

yeah, right

…

 

 

___

kalo misalnya u tau sapa Black and White yang sebenarnya di balik kode nama yang wa kasih, then I hope you don’t tell her about this. Or if you’re Black and White, then I’m begging for your apology if I ever hurt you before, and/or if I became a coward by staying behind the blog and code names… 

I hated to say this, but I need someone to understand me.

Someone I can trust

Someone I can love

and that’s you

I once again asking for your apology if I’m demanding

 

I love you,

and I’m sorry

….

Simple Plan – I Can Wait Forever

 

You look so beautiful today

When you’re sitting there it’s hard for me to look away

So i try to find the words that i could say

I know distance doesn’t matter but you feel so far away

And I can’t lie

Every time I leave my heart turns gray

And I want to come back home to see your face

tonight

Cause I just can’t take it

 

Another day without you with me

Is like a blade that cuts right through me

But I can wait

I can wait forever

When you call my heart stops beating

When you’re gone it wont stop bleeding

But I can wait

I can wait forever

 

You look so beautiful today

It’s like every time I turn around I see your face

The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you

When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay

And I can’t lie

Every time I leave my heart turns gray

And I want to come back home to see your face

tonight

Cause I just can’t take it

 

Another day without you with me

Is like a blade that cuts right through me

But I can wait

I can wait forever

When you call my heart stops beating

When you’re gone it wont stop bleeding

But I can wait

I can wait forever

 

I know it feels like forever

I guess that’s just the price I gotta pay

But when I come back home to feel your touch

Makes it better

‘Till that day

Theres nothing else that I can do

And I just can’t take it

I just can’t take it

 

Another day without you with me

Is like a blade that cuts right through me

But i can wait

I can wait forever (I can wait forever)

When you call my heart stops beating

When you’re gone it wont stop bleeding

But I can wait

I can wait forever

I can wait forever

I can wait forever…

 

 

sepertinya udah pada tau, kan, kalo ini bukan acara Sing Along with Male, so, lanjut aja ke maksud wa ngepost I Can Wait Forever (aside from the reason that I love the song)

ini adalah lagu yang dari awal paling “menjamah” wa

napa?

well, it’s just plain simple

hampir semua baris dari lagu ini bisa diaplikasiin ke kehidupan wa di sekolah

hmm….

I Can Wait Forever….

Simple Plan – No Love

Staring out into the world across the street

You hate the way your life turned out to be

He’s pulling up in the driveway and you don’t make a sound

Cause you always learn to hold the things you want to say

Your always going to be afraid

 

[Chorus:]

There’s only hate

There’s only tears

There’s only pain

There is no love here

Oh so what will you do?

There’s only lies

There’s only fears

There’s only pain

There is no love here

 

Broken down like a mirror smashed to peices

You learned the hard way to shut your mouth and smile

If these walls could talk they would have so much to say

Cause everytime you fight the scars are gonna heal but there never gonna go away

 

[Chorus:]

There’s only hate

There’s only tears

There’s only pain

There is no love here

Oh so what will you do?

There’s only lies

There’s only fears

There’s only pain

There is no love here

Oh no So what will you do?

 

Your falling, your screaming

Your stuck in the same old nightmare

He’s lying, your crying

There’s nothing left to salvage

Kick the door cause this is over

Get me out of here

 

(Kick the door)

 

[Chorus:]

There’s only hate

There’s only tears

There’s only pain

There is no love here

Oh so what will you do?

There’s only lies

There’s only fears

There’s only pain

There is no love here

Tell me what will you do?

There’s only hate

There’s only tears

There’s only pain

There is no love here.

 

 

sayangnya lagi, ini bukan acara Sing Along with Male, coz wa pengen curhat dikit lagi, and wa baru realize hari ini kalo lagu ini juga pantes buat wa nyanyikan (bukan karena wa fans SP! tapi karena wa juga merasakan hal yang sama)

di post wa sebelomnya (yang “Semuanya Campur Aduk”), wa udah cerita kalo wa struck pas denger rumor kalo Black and White has a feeling toward someone (which I just befriended week before)…

and tadi (beberapa jam yang lalu) wa curhat (lagi) ke Tuhan, and wa langsung inget ama lagu ini, yang menggambarkan kalo di hati wa yang beku dan hitam, cuma ada rasa sakit, benci, air mata, dan dusta, dan tidak ada cinta di dalamnya.

Ini menjawab pertanyaan dalam hati wa, “apakah eros membenci wa?”

and jawabannya tentu saja “ya”

…

that’s why

that’s why I need someone

that’s why I need someone to love

that’s why I need someone like you

-Black and White-

Simple Plan – Save You

“Save You”

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
You’ll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there’re so many things that I want you to know
I won’t give up till it’s over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It’s just skin and bones
There’s nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can’t make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there’re so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it’s over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I’ll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I’ll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won’t give up cause I’ll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I’ll be there for you

If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes i wish i could save you
And there’re so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it’s over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

I wish I could save you
I want you to know

I wish I could save you

 

 

well, ini bukan acara sing along with Male, tapi wa pengen curhat (hueekkk).

gini, neh, ceritanya:

tiap kali wa dengerin nih lagu (n sejak wa menghayati liriknya) wa jadi keinget ama dia (well, bahkan pas wa mo tidur, wa juga mimpiin dia, kale~) and wa pengen banget “save her”

pokoknya liriknya manteb banget buat ngegambarin suasana hati wa

(bukan berarti wa kena kanker hati!!)